Hey there .. just want to share with you guys coz it's a burden for me now !

Facing something ! I am 25 years old, and I'm going through something that is slowly destroying me from the inside. It all started 12 years ago when I was in school. I met a girl on Facebook, we introduced ourselves, and somehow we connected deeply with each other. After ten months, we had the chance to meet in person. When we met, she looked so beautiful in a black dress and silver square earrings. That was the moment we met and started loving each other. From that point, we were together for 8 years, and she was the one who showed me what love truly is. I saw her grow from a young girl into a mature woman. But things started to get worse. We fought over the phone, and the main culprit was me. I was overprotective of her and didn’t like it when strange boys talked to her. She is a friendly person, and I know it wasn’t her fault, but that thing always triggered me. I was always thinking that if a guy who was smarter or more intelligent than me came along, she might leave me. This thought constantly ran through my mind. Now, it has been 4 years since we broke up, and I still suffer from it. I can’t even explain it properly; even as I write this, my eyes are wet. In these 4 years, I’ve gone through a lot of hardship, and then I decided to leave India and move to the USA to settle there. But I had to look after my mother, as she is the only parent I have left. I did everything I could to provide for her. Since a young age, I worked hard and established my own path, but in the end, I couldn’t get her back. About 6-7 months ago, she called me to ask how I was doing, but we’re no longer together. It’s been more than a year now since we last called each other. There is so much more I haven’t shared, but I think this is enough to show how much I love her and what situation I’m going through. I couldn’t handle all of this at such a young age. I’m struggling with depression and regret, but I have to wear a fake smile in front of my mother. With all the stress, I’ve turned into someone I don’t want to be. I’ve started smoking and have developed some bad habits. I just want to confess something to the world.