Yap sesh

I love not being employed, but the guilt that comes with it might not be worth it. All my friends who were NEETs have been telling me how much better their lives have become since getting jobs or going to school. While I don’t care about these achievements and I genuinely congratulate them, I feel this deep FOMO like I’m missing out on something I don’t even want. I also feel the guilt of still living with my parents. Honestly, if I had a choice, I would unironically live in a cabin far away from everyone. I’ve grown so misanthropic i don’t even reply to messages anymore. I don’t want to talk to people. The guilt is overwhelming. Being a NEET has definitely made me a worse person because of the guilt I carry. I know getting a job won’t make me happy either. The best option seems like cutting everyone off and not speaking to anyone, so I’m not constantly reminded of what I’m not doing. I think what’s fueling my FOMO might be more biological a deep need to be accepted by society and others socially. The weird part is, I don’t even stand a chance. I’m ugly, short, not smart I feel like I have every bad characteristic a person could have. My whole life, I’ve had to work extra hard just to be mediocre, while others seemed to have natural abilities that made it easier for them.