when was the last time you talked with a girl friendly/flirt

For me it was 3.5 years ago on internet for 1 weeks , and before that 2 years i think. The last time was horrible and i was in a perma panic not knowing how i'm supossed to act. Now it would be way worse , i'm scare even by thinking about it. Tried to join a discord server today , and saw two people flirting and left. It was pain and sadness, being reminded living was a thing in their reality