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What keeps y’all going?
Like in all honesty… For me, I made a commitment a few years back that I’d see my University education through to the end so I thought it only right to myself as well as my mom to honor that commitment. I’m currently 29 and a senior so close to graduating but I’ve had several chances in the past to commit to a goal and have mostly failed. When I see how my older sister is living with seemingly no sense of order or structure to her life, it makes me sad and I think I definitely don’t want to end up like her. I’ve struggle with addiction and mental illness and I feel like I know how fucked things can get when I embrace hedonism and not caring so while sometimes things are tough, I’m aware that running away is not going to make them easier. I guess this paints me like I’m not a NEET and truthfully at this point, I don’t think I am because I’ve progressed far enough in my education and am only about 2 semesters away from graduating and having a bachelor’s degree. However I’ve spent most of my 20s being a drifter and having mental breakdowns and sometimes being toxic and abusive to those around me so it only feels right that I should strive to grow but honestly… the workload and the lifestyle feel thankless sometimes. It also seems possible that the most random things can go wrong and screw everything up. I don’t like being a wage slave and wish I didn’t have to work except maybe when it comes to things I care about and am passionate about. I do meditation and prayer and I feel like my spiritual practice is the foundation that keeps me from slipping back into nasty old habits. I just wanted to get an idea of what drives any of you guys even if you don’t feel like there’s anything in particular to look forward to.5
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