this is not a life

I'm mostly just vacantly distracting myself but every once in a while everything just hits me all at once. There's just fucking nothing to my life at all, I'm not doing anything my brain has rotted away and I can't even express how this feels at all i'm just teetering between numbness and extreme anger desperation frustration that i have no outlet for i used to think i could somehow at least get something creative out of my situation but nothing of value can come from a person on their own a person by themselves barely fucking exists