Rant : Officially unemployed as a 21 year old female with no college education. (Warning , a lot of rambling and self pity.)

Hello there everyone, A tiny bit about me as a human on the other side of the screen. I am 21 and live with my mother. I am extremely blessed as she does not charge me for living with her (rent free) I never attended college. I understand me saying this is extremely pessimistic. But, I never seen the point. I have dyscalculia and dyslexia. I barely made it out of highschool alive. I starter working as soon as I was granted the opportunity. Working class jobs you know? Kitchen porter, Cleaning, there was a point in my life I had my own gardening side hussel. (An unregistered Business if you will.) That was before me and my mother moved back to Glasgow (A city in Scotland.) I had a full time job at one point in my life. I was working as a kitchen assistant. Despite the crazy hours that are asked of kitchen staff I felt fulfilled. I felt like despite being an individual with a lower IQ. I could still be part of a functioning society. Even tribute with the little tax I was paying. I am going to try and keep the self loathing part short. But, I had a mini breakdown at work. I know that “mental health“ stuff is extremely common in the western world. Basically, I cried at work. I mean like it wasn’t light crying. I had a break down. Publicly. I have not been back to work. I worked there for around 2 years or so. I understand to many this may be dramatic but I can’t show my face there. Also, yes I did “Get help.” I got an emergency appointment with my NHS Free , government paid for psychiatrist. I forgot what it was like to be unemployed. I had forgotten what it was like to apply for job after job after job. Just hoping for the possibility of som having an interest in hiring a girl who has about 3 GCSEs. I know I am sulking . But, at least I have a clean PVG! For those of you who live outside of the Uk that means I do not have a criminal record. I also have other job references from years ago. Despite this I find myself struggling to find a new job. I should be counting my blessings as my family does not require me to pay rent or pay much of anything for that matter. honestly, I cannot imagine life without my family’s support and unconditional love. I just wish I wasn’t such a mess. I just want to make them proud.