No time for anything

Need job to escape my shitty home life. Then i will have a shitty job ill be in. Then come back to shitty home life. No personal life. There’s no future but unhappiness. Either i be useful which means always working or im a waste of air and resources. I want to die bu i can’t. I have to quit the kiddy video game shit as well. I have to think they are kiddy bc i cant play them or. I wll be wasting time. I have to be useful or rope.