NEETs who had to start working, how do you handle it?

My anxiety and depression have been crippling for as long as I can remember. Ever since my first day of elementary school, I’ve had a deep-rooted fear of being around others—of socializing to the point that it alters my entire being. It’s not just nervousness. It’s the cold, tightening weight in my chest, my heart hammering so hard it drowns out my thoughts. My hands shake, my mind locks up, and I become hyper-aware of every movement, every glance, every word I can’t seem to force out. But I don’t have a choice. I need money, and my parents won’t be around forever. So I showed up for a training shift at a restaurant near me, even though every part of me screamed not to because I knew it would be awful, and it was. I’m so far behind everyone else, and even though I’ll be in the kitchen, there’s still so much socializing and interaction that it paralyzes me. I freeze up, unsure of what to say or do, and I can feel the weight of other people’s expectations pressing down on me. The worst part is how exhausting it is to pretend I’m okay. To force out words when my throat feels like it’s closing. To nod, to smile, to act like I’m following along when my brain is stuck in a fog of panic. By the time I get home, I feel like I’ve run a marathon, except no one else sees the effort it took just to exist in that space. I don’t know why the basic functions of life feel so impossible for me. I just want to be normal.