Might become a neet thanks to ocd

Where do i even start. This past year has been the craziest downfall imaginable for me. First the ocd randomly kicks in, making me completely question myself and then when it changed themes for no good reason it fuckin took away almost everything meaningful to me, except gaming. I didn't used to be like that, i used to be somewhat normal person or however you want to call it. I had almost autistic dedication/passion for naval history (it really meant a lot to me idk how to describe it) which went hand in hand with me being a weeb and for more than 5 years that were the things that made feel alive/special/whatever just good. Then as i said everything crashed down over the past year and now i can't even imagine myself in my own damn head anymore (for context i used to daydream a lot, anime themed or not. I guess it makes sense for someone who's constantly made fun of to completely retreat into one's head and don't care about this shitty world right?) nor am i sure whether i can even function anymore, i have 3 final and hardest months of school which i don't care about anymore left. The ocd got so bad the anime in general triggers it or anything sexual even, and during the day i don't even know what to think about and it makes me so anxious that for the past month i mostly stayed home because in school it's pretty hard to distract my mind and also had few anxiety attacks in school, terrible feeling. Even if i scrape through the last year tho i feel completely lost, everything that made me so happy is gone, mentally im so tired that college or whatever isn't an option, i just wish to rest permanently and i know that soon all my friends will spread across the country to live out their lives so realistically I'll be mostly alone in this regard. I feel like a complete failure, i wanted to be a cool naval weeb or whatever and now im nothing and doubt I'll get back what i unrighteously lost. Guess I'm destined to wage slave away until i loose it one day or if i get disability neetbux I'll stay completely shut in. I don't think i would even mind if it means safety. I envy those that did not care what others thought of them, i was (and mostly am) so insecure that whenever i wanted to try something my first thought was wether I'll be cringe for doing that or what would others think. I hate those guys for exploiting my low self-esteem, damn fuckers just as guilty as me.