I want rope

Now im officially neet, because I failed college and dropped out, honestly I feel so hopeless and depressed, if I had a gun I would have used it on my brain already. I turn 24 in January and I really have no hope for the future, to make matters worse I am very poor and I am from Brazil, where the economy is shit, I also have health problems. The only thing that stops me from going is my mom, but I pray to God that I die and leave this shithole planet.