I’m trapped on universal credit / lcwra

I feel like I’m trapped . I want to apply for jobs but I feel like no decent job would want me , only shit like retail . The moment I even get a job they’ll revoke my pip from me and yes I am aware you can claim pip whilst in work but they make it difficult and use having a job against you. I know no decent job will want me because I applied for computer science apprenticeships dozens of times in 2022 and every single one rejected me . The only job that did take me on was some pharmacy in the busy Christmas period who was looking for some cheap labour (they paid me below min wage) I eventually lost my shit in that job and ended up getting arrested on terrorism charges cuz I went too far with my vents online . I still feel really traumatised by the whole ideal I asked on the benefitsuk sub if I could volunteer in animal shelters / dog walking without Informing the DWP and they basically said it’s fraud if I don’t …. I don’t know how I’m supposed to practise putting myself out there .. I just feel really trapped … I also feel like I’m a drain on society and have no purpose in life ….