Former NEET here but still dealing with the consequences.

I made a decision to go back to school and work while training at the gym two years ago because the NEET lifestyle got so unbearable. It was so chill in the beginning, but it became unbearable three years in. Not being able to hold my head high was part of it, but my main issue was time passing in a blur with zero awareness. Fast forward to now, I still have this issue of my days just ending like they never even began. I don’t know if it’s because of winter break now, so it feels much more severe, but I also experience this when I go to school from Monday to Friday and work on the weekends. Because of it, I get so uneasy by nighttime. Idk how to explain it. It’s like I’m not existing. I can’t take it.