venting out feeling like an afterthought

everything was going good. I didn't matter to you and rightfully so you didn't bother texting me. i have always checked up on you, how are you, how are you feeling but not once have i heard the same from you. and so I tried. not texting you once. and then twice. and soon minutes became months and you were wiped out of my head. peacefully. I checked if you messaged every now and then and that's it. but no. my birthday had to come. you had to forget. even better that you did coz I knew you will. i took so much love so celebrate yours.. spend months planning evey single gift for you... but some random stupid instagram story made you remember after a whole week that SHIT. and you panicked. soon the absence became presence. you sent out texts enough for a year. i did not read them the worst and the best you could've done was wish me and then you'll forget the day even happened. no you were persistent on it. and i said "okay it's alright :)" that wasn't enough. you showed up at my house. you wished me. you cried. you made me feel important. you made me feel alive. you grew a rose out of my ashes. and again I was reminded how much I loved you... but why did I ever think... that you loved me. why. why why why. again after it was all over, you carefully went back to your place of ignorance. i am again left stripped open. only for you to never be bothered once again.