i regret drinking and am confused embarassed and i literally want to disappear

i got drunk yesterday for the first time at a club and i really really regret it. i was out for new years with my friends and there were 10 of us, i really like a guy in our group since last 2 but i havent discussed about this with anyone yet and yesterday while we were dancing i realised that i love him. at midnight a random guy we met at club who was dancing with us kissed me (no one saw this as i was in calling my other friends so i went somewhere quieter) now when he kissed me i froze and didnt know how to react i was just standing there and he kept kissing me then i said wait wait not here not here and then he took me out i told him i liked someone else but he kept kissing me something and i kissed him back for a moment but it felt so so wrong and then i clearly said no and kept dodging him. i started feeling really bad because it for some reason felt like cheating and i got very anxious and started drinking to forget everything that was happening i got really drunk and then was entire time clinging over my friend the guy i like. now a girl in our friend group also likes this guy and shes told all our friends about this recently and she said that shes trying to get over her stupid crush but today morning after we woke up she called me to tell that she loves him too. the whole situation is so wierd for me right now, i feel like i should backoff because the guy deserves better and i literally kissed someone back 10 mins after i realised my feelings for him, but i love him too much for my own good.i am so so embarassed and i feel very guilty and bad.