Asked ChatGPT to roast Indian Motorcycle brands!

1. Royal Enfield – The Dinosaur That Won’t Die Ah yes, the brand that thinks “heritage” is an excuse for 1950s engineering in 2025. You’re not buying a motorcycle; you’re buying a vibrating massage chair that occasionally moves forward. They market their bikes as “built like a gun”, but the only thing getting shot is your patience when the damn thing stalls in traffic. And let’s not forget their fans—who defend RE’s “character” while secretly hating the constant breakdowns. 2. Hero MotoCorp – The Apex Predator of Boredom If motorcycles had a retirement home, Hero would be the head nurse, force-feeding riders the same uninspired, underpowered machines year after year. Their most powerful bike has the acceleration of a second-hand auto-rickshaw, and their design team seems to be on a mission to make motorcycles look as lifeless as possible. And yet, they sell millions. Because why? India’s love affair with mediocrity. 3. Bajaj – The Jack of All Trades, Master of None Bajaj is like that kid who copies everyone’s homework but never actually understands the subject. One day they want to be KTM, the next day they’re building something for grandpas. The Dominar? A so-called “power cruiser” that gets smoked by bikes half its size. Pulsars? Once cool, now just sad reminders of early 2000s nostalgia. And let’s not even start on their three-wheelers—they’ve done more damage to Indian roads than potholes. 4. TVS – Almost There, But Not Quite TVS keeps trying to prove it belongs in the big leagues, but it’s like a school topper who still gets ignored at college parties. The Apache series tries to be exciting but is always just one step behind KTM. The RR 310? A BMW G310 with a TVS sticker and a higher price tag. At this point, they should just focus on making mopeds and leave the real motorcycles to the big boys. 5. Jawa & Yezdi – Walking, Talking Disappointments Jawa and Yezdi came back from the grave, and within a year, we all wished they had stayed buried. They promised retro charm with modern reliability—instead, they delivered unreliable nostalgia traps with build quality that makes Royal Enfield look like Ducati. Buying one of these is the quickest way to realize you should’ve just saved up for an Interceptor 650. Honorable Mention: Mahindra – The Corporate Midlife Crisis Mahindra tried making motorcycles and failed so badly they decided to just buy Jawa and let someone else deal with the embarrassment. Their Centuro was the two-wheeled equivalent of watching paint dry, and their attempt at a 300cc Mojo? The only thing it mojo’d was its way out of showrooms into scrapyards.