Feeling extremely lonely, I don’t know what to do anymore ( sry but i m from mp so i thought to post here)

15M | 11th standard (Medical) | Tier-3 city I don’t know, I just feel too lonely now. It’s getting unbearable. I barely have any real-life friends, no best friend. Since 7th grade, I’ve only been a **side friend** to everyone, never anyone’s priority. And after 10th, my parents changed my school, and now I’m doing non-schooling from a new school, which has made things even worse. I’ve never hugged anyone, never had a crush. I’m an introvert, and I struggle to talk to people. On top of that, I’m overweight, which makes me even more insecure. I barely go outside, just stay at home most of the time. Maybe I’ve gotten used to being alone, but deep inside, I don’t want to be like this. Seeing others with their friends makes me feel bad. Maybe it’s jealousy, or maybe just sadness—I don’t know. I just wish I had a hug, a **real** one, not just some casual formality. But there’s no one I can share my feelings with. At home, I’ve never shared anything either—I just **can’t.** To be honest, I know that I’ll stay lonely until 12th grade because I’m doing non-schooling. There’s no chance of making friends in school or anywhere else. I don’t even know what’s going to happen to me. I feel so lonely that nothing makes sense anymore. My exams start on **March 3rd**, but I can’t focus on studying. My mind keeps wandering, I can’t concentrate, and I feel like I’m wasting time. It feels like **I can’t achieve anything, I’m just a failure.** I feel completely lost, messed up, and alone. Even online, maybe some of you will DM me and say, “I’ll be your friend,” but honestly, **I don’t know if I can do it.** I want friends, but I don’t know what to say. I barely talk and mostly just reply with short answers. I don’t even know how to keep a conversation going. Honestly, I just feel **empty.** And the weirdest thing is, **my eyes start shedding tears on their own, for no reason.** There’s no fixed time for it, it just happens slowly, even when I don’t want it to. Sometimes, I don’t even know if I’m actually sad, but the tears just won’t stop. ’m feeling really low right now. I want someone to talk to in real life, but I just can’t. I feel like giving up on talking to people altogether. I barely speak to anyone as it is. Talking to strangers feels impossible. I **crave** a true, genuine friend—someone who actually understands me. But **how?** How do I find that person? How do I even start? Every time I try to speak, my mind drowns in overthinking— *"Will they make fun of me later?"* *"What will they think of me?"* *"My voice sounds terrible (at least, to me it does)."* I'm scared. And I know I need to make a move, but **how?** Right now, my exams are in the way—March 3rd, 6th, 11th, 13th, and 18th. Then, after that, 12th-grade practicals and finals. I’m a dummy student at a new school where I don’t know **anyone**—and no one knows me. More than anything, I want someone. A best friend. A real friend. Or even love. I don’t care if it’s a boyfriend or girlfriend—I just want **someone.** I **need** someone. Why is this phase of life so damn hard? Why does it feel like no matter how much I want it, I can’t reach it? I want to cry. I want to scream. I want to **tell someone everything.** Not online. **In real life.** And to top it all off, I can’t even focus on studying. My mind just won’t cooperate