MENTAL HEALTH.

Hello everyone I have been a lurker on this sub for almost 2 years now and I dont know who else to turn to because I am not doing well at all. I find myself crying all the time. Everything from exam stress to other stuff in my life. I dont think i am happy at all. It all seems hopeless. I have never felt happy once in this life and i cant help but feel like crying all the time. I want someone to love me and pamper me as well. I dont want to be strong or mature. Throughout my childhoood my parents always used to fight and i was very bullied in school as well. I dont know but i feel very sad and isolated. Everyone just is rude to me. I feel like i have to be good to everyone just so that they treat me decently. I want to be angry too be frustated at others. Dont know. Pls dont say talk to parents, did that multiple times and regreted it everytime, felt worse.