How fked I am?

So basically, in 12th grade, I was super distracted by YouTube and my academics suffered big time. I got a pretty bad 56% in boards and failed in every entrance exam, including JEE Mains, where I scored a mediocre 45%ile. decided to take a drop for jee and boards in July 2024(ik pretty late), but I ended up procrastinating again(watching youtube ) and now im left with just 20 days for jee mains and i haven't studied literally anything. But this year, I've actually studied for boards, unlike last time, and now I'm really perplexed I'm not even sure if I should be alive or not. Plss give me some tips coz tbh even if I get 90%ile that's still OK at least I'll be able to tell my relatives abt it. I feel like I just ruined my whole life 🥲