Help should I die?

The truth about my life:) Bhai mene do saal jee ki taiyari ki pata nahi m resources change krte rha sirf lecture dekhte rha mere jee mains 1 m last year 32 percentile aya tha fir mene board dia cbse mere overall 60.8 percent m class 10 94.4 percent aya tha ar fir is saal drop year m mere 71 percentile aya m sabse jhut bolte rehta hu mere phy k paper bhut khrb gya is saal m impov de rha hu na cbse boards ka usme chem bhi i fucked up m sirf masturbate krta rehta hu i cant focus bhai im so done should i tell my parents mujhse nahi ho rha h. Plz give suggestions plz Mods approve krdena plz