Fu*ked up 2 years ab himmat nhi ho rhi

So after 10th I decided to take online + dummy which later became my biggest mistake .I still am trying hard ki kuch ho jaye . But today while cleaning and dusting stuff krte hue my parents found out the books that I purchased (cengage and physics galaxy ) in which some of the books weren't even wrapped off .taane pade sunke kafi bura feel hota hai but kuch kar bhi nhi skta pura try kar rha hu magar bilkul hi lost si feeling aane lgti hai .