I fucked up

Ignore this post if you don’t wanna read a defeated guy’s rant. I’ve completely ruined my own future, and there’s no one to blame but me. A breakup left me emotionally drained, and to make things worse, I’ve been struggling with a severe vitamin B12 deficiency. My focus and memory are so shot that whatever I try to study just vanishes from my mind within days. It feels like my brain just refuses to work anymore, no matter how much I push myself. Because of this, I procrastinated endlessly and barely studied. I’ve only touched English and my optional subject so far, and today, for the first time, I finally started solving NCERT. It feels like trying to climb Mount Everest without any training or gear. The worst part? I can’t even tell my parents. They’re not the most understanding or supportive, and I’m terrified of how they’ll react. I don’t have the courage to admit how badly I’ve screwed up. I’m scared, ashamed, and completely alone in this. Practical exams start in two weeks, and I’m at absolute zero right now. I know I’ll probably score in the negatives in JEE, and the thought of facing my parents after that is eating me alive. I’ve ruined everything, and I don’t know how to fix it anymore. Honestly, fuck my existence.