Honest opinions only

This is going to be a long post so buckle up I'm a dropper in kota right now in leader plus batch in Allen. I got this batch due to a good percentile in mains 2024 (98+) and also secured appreciable scholarship. Now to the story: I have done my 11th and 12th from Allen but not the kota branch. I would say I was a very naive person coming to 11th standard, (I come from a very small town with not good opportunities and education) but was very hardworking or atleast that's what everyone including teachers and friends said about me. Time flew and I gave Mains, I was devastated because I knew it did not go well according to my expectations.(31jan morning shift).As mentioned before I got the above mentioned result and decided to not give second mains as I didn't have any interest to improve my mains rank and my only aim was to get into iits. Time passes by i donot qualify advanced ( very expected as I had lost hopes and mentally decided to take drop even before writing) Came to kota in June end. Classes start, I am very happy as I get to improve my weak chapters and learn advanced topics especially in ioc and oc which were not taught before. My math has also improved which was quite weak before. All teachers are good except for my physics teacher who wastes a bloody lot of time saying stupid jokes and his life experiences. And my oc teacher who is very reputed but has decided not to go by the usual flow of chapters instead teach random name reactions. This guy also wastes a lot of time. So the problem: it is December mid for god's sake!! But syllabus not completed. math 4 chapters left , physics is useless as he is giving short notes these days( result of wasting so much bloody time earlier) , chemistry i can't even say what's going on as no one is following the usual flow of chapters ( but a lot is left p block, s block, mettulurgy, surface chemistry, solid state, states of matter ,so much in organic etc etc) I have no idea what to do. By this time last year i had completed my syllabus and was giving mocks. This time teachers are saying they will complete syllabus by Jan mid or even later and mains fucking starts from 22. I feel like my knowledge compared to last year has increased but practice is so low due to hectic classes (6:30-2). There has not been any full syllabus test whatsover. I have not even started revision from start. Guys I will confess I am not dumb. I have studied in 11th and 12th and not fooled around. Almost everyone in my class are those who have qualified advanced but wanted to improve their rank. I literally have no motivation right now. I cannot say any of this to my classmates as they think I am doing good . My parents and friends are no exceptions. I literally have no one honestly vent my feelings. I am depressed. Done with life.Starving due to the shitty food in kota. I am questioning life. I was not like this. How did I become like this? Guys please give me advice on what to do next? 1) Should I continue going to class? [Pros: 1)Advanced level teaching in math and chemistry and excellent notes] 2) will be in teacher's good graces [ Cons: 1)after going and coming back I can study for only 4-5hours more or even less than that. 2)No practice of sufficient questions 3)Can't complete what I want and have to go with the flow. 4)No time for revision and completion of other stuff] Or Sit and do self study( i have regularly attended for 6 months) as to complete syllabus in the earliest? [Pros: 1)flexiblity to do whatever I want. 2) Study for longer time 15+ hours 3)Can watch lectures at 2× speed to complete syllabus fast. 4)Do extra resources like physics galaxy and sqbs [ Cons: 1) fear of missing out on concepts taught in class 2) Will i even get good level advanced lectures on YouTube? ( No way I'm watching the bullshit one shots by bakwas coaching institutes. No hate but I have tried them but no way are they sufficient for advanced. Was planning to watch unacdemy lectures by specific teachers and Ashish Arora sir archives My primary focus is getting a good rank in Advanced and don't care much about mains. What should be my priority to improve my advanced problem solving skills? How to utilise these upcoming months wisely? I don't want to do blind hardwork as I have already done that once and failed. Current aspirants and passouts who have been in my situation, please give me advice, suggestions, motivation or just a harsh opinions on what you felt about this post. I hope all of us can pass through these times to achieve what we want 🙏