Help 🥲

I had gotten less than 80% in january attempt 🥲with a good jee percentile I can get atleast get decent college I'm dropper there are millions of reasons why I couldn't do well in jan attempt but at the end its my stupidity please do help me if u have tips my parents are saying they will pay for management seat in rv college I'm denying it but they insist on paying im not even from rich family.my parents are like we can gather the money I feel really low and worth less I cannot even study in college with so much management fees because everyday the guilt will be killing me slowly. They went to the college today and asked about fees it was around 45 to 50 lakhs I don't know what to do I cannot even try explaining them acc to them if it's rv it's either nit or iit sometimes I wanna kill myself but it's not worth for jee but if they force me to join this college with this much management fees then suicide looks like really good option.i have seen alot of posts where people from decent college has got good package.in corona time when I was in 10th I had developed few skills like web development,graphic designing I'm not saying im the best at it but I could learn if I put the efforts to it. I did work hard in my drop year but because of bad coaching and I always used to learn two times like I go to coaching come back to home and again learn from youtube because they didn't teach well but I didn't have the common sense to even know proper time management please do help me how to get atleast 80% to 90% I can get decent college I don't wanna go to management seat college🥹