Guys, I give up JEE (rant)

Writing this from my throwaway account. Ignore this post if you don't wanna read my lowly rant. I am a total fucking piece of shit and a pathetic dude who wasted all his opportunities and is now completely doomed. I was facing some other health issues and had severe vitamin B12 and vitamin D deficiency. I had severe symptoms of memory loss due to this deficiencies which hurted me the most. literally har ek chapter hojane ke baad I use to forgot everything that I learned in a matter of days. Due to this I was in dilemma and started procrastinating my study. Needless to say I am totally fucked now. Aj ghar pe mummy papa ko bol diya ki jee nahi ho raha mujhse. They are very understanding and supportive so they said ki koi baat nahi jee ko ignore karde boards pe focus kar but I feel so pathetic rn because I am such an undeserving child. They gave me every single thing needed for my preparation but I ended up using none. Literally rona aarha hai but I don't have anyone other than my parents to lend me a shoulder to cry on. And I don't have courage to cry in front of them because everything is my fault. Crying in front of them due to my issues doesn't seem right to me whereas they did everything they can in their power. You can say I am basically on zero right now and I have my practical exams coming up from 16 jan. I had the ability to do very well in all of my exams and maybe I still do but everything went wrong and now I am completely clueless. I don't know what to do anymore. Seriously fuck my existence.