Can I be an anti materialist if I haven't succeeded in the material sense?

P.s. Here materialism refers to "a tendency to consider material possessions and physical comfort as more important than spiritual values." and not the philosophical view that the universe is only material. I think that even if I hadn't become an agnostic hindu, I still would have left this materialistic society. Had I been an atheist, I might have ended myself (Back then I was basically the biggest pessimist on earth lol) or just isolate myself as I have somewhat right now. However, the problem with my current self is that it feels like cheating and lying to myself. Even though it'd be ad hominem, I'd find it fair if someone said that I only left the materialistic society because I myself never achieved greatness in it. Makes me think of what Riteshwar Maharaj said. He said that his guruji asked him to get proper education so when he turns virakt, people won't be able to say he became a baba because he was uneducated. I feel that, should I then first try to achieve greatness within the materialistic society so then my abandoning of it holds more value? or am I overthinking? I know I shouldn't be thinking about this, but I can't help it. I feel like I'd look like a coward :/ Sorruy if this post is chaotic and or didn't make much sense, I am not thinking properly right now :(