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Am I being tested?
I have recently found Hinduism and it has spoken to me in a profound way, that no other literature has. It has felt like being welcomed home after a hard day. Probably due to my own lack of nurturing growing up, I was drawn to Kali and while studying the important texts, I have been reading at length about her. I know that she will challenge and burn away all that keeps a person from the correct path. I have veered from the path, as I cope with trauma by smoking too much weed and basically numbing myself. I’ve been able to be highly functioning but last night after smoking I became ill, intense hot flashes, I passed out and terrified my wife. I had to crawl to the bathroom and puke. In all my YEARS and YEARS of smoking weed, this has NEVER happened. This is probably an unfair question to ask but is she testing me? This is the sickest I have felt in 2 decades and last night was hell but here I am. Am I thinking too far into it?5
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