Shitty Instagram feed actually became my reality.

TW: Suicide I really need to get this off my chest even though I have talked about this to my friends enough times. I came back from my hometown in the morning. Around 6:30AM it was still dark when I got off the bus stand at Kashmeere Gate. I used the washroom did a small chai-sutta break and boarded the metro for back to my place. All these instagram reels of violence and sensitive content had gotten into my head and I deleted the app but the 27th feb reel of something bad is going to happen actually got to me idk why. Around 7:15 I exited the metro station. The weather got all gloomy and it was slightly pouring. I had a bad omen. I took the sharing auto, got dropped off at the halt and go point and took a 2-3 minute walk to my place. I enter my gully to the sight of someone who had passed away but I had travelled for over 12 hours in a bus so I did not have the emotional capacity to even look around. I reached my floor and I saw my neighbour didi waiting for me. I asked her about what exactly had happened and she said that a guy committed suicide. He did it on his birthday, or maybe he went to someone's birthday celebration. I couldn't hear people properly when they were dropping but one thing I surely overheard was that the guy was happy the previous night. The guy turned 24, 3 more than me. It scared the shit out of me. He hung himself right behind the gate of the building which is front of us. I couldn't comprehend what was happening and all I could do was just stand and watch from my balcony of how much agony and pain the family members of the guy were in. The mother passed out 4-5 times when I reached. The police arrived at the scene same time as me- He did it around 5.30 and police arrived when I reached, they were literally walking side by side to me. And the ambulance came another hour after that to pick up the body. I was exhausted but I couldn't sleep because of what I had just witnessed and the screaming & crying was audible to me so I couldn't even turn a blind eye if I wanted to. I called my mom to inform her that I had reached safely but I didn't have the balls to tell her what had happened nor am I going to share it until I move out. It was utterly disturbing that I just spoke to my mother who was relieved when I reached but to see another mother right in front of my eyes who lost her son to suicide was so dystopian and eerie. I couldn't even stay in bed because what I had witnessed so I left for college as my office guys told me to take the day because off the already going health problems & internal family matters happening. I was so exhausted and the day had just begun. I have been constantly running back and forth from hospital to ghar ke kalesh and what not bhai. This shit is so weird. Had to let my heart out that's it. Please take care of your loved ones and reach out bhai. There will always be someone to listen to you. It's never this hard. It may seem like but it never is. Seek professional help as soon as possible.