Mensmentalhealthshit

I’ve been in bed for over 24 hours now—since yesterday afternoon around 1 PM. I haven’t eaten, haven’t gone to the washroom. I’m 26 years old, not earning, not contributing to my family or myself, all because of my mental health. Earlier, I used to dismiss all of this, thinking, ‘It’s just a mind game, snap out of it,’ but I’ve come to realize how real it is. I feel like I’m failing at life because of my mental state. I’ve been to more than three psychiatrists, had one therapy session, and couldn’t afford more. My phone has been off since 2 PM yesterday. I have an iPad that I use to study, but other than that, I’m just lying in bed, passing the time. Nobody really seems to care—but I know deep down that I have to change myself. Still, my mental health stops me from doing even the smallest things. I don’t even know if I’m lazy or if it’s something deeper. I feel trapped in my room and avoid leaving its four walls. I don’t want to meet anyone, and while I no longer want to die, there was a time I attempted it three times. • The first time, I was just 9 or 10, but nothing happened. • The second time, I was 14, and it was a serious attempt, but somehow, I woke up fine the next morning. • The third time was in 2022. Now, I’m much more religious. I know I don’t want to die, but living like this feels impossible. Life keeps moving on, year after year, and I’m stuck and loving this isolation. People might say, ‘Go to the gym, start working out,’ but just stepping out of my room feels overwhelming. I’ve spent so much money on doctors and medicines, and there’s still a test I’ve been putting off for 3 months because it costs ₹5,000. Even with all of this, I believe I can change myself. I have that awareness. I know I’m blessed in many ways. I have talent, good values, and faith in Prabhu. But mentally? I’m broken. I don’t know what to do, and it feels like time is slipping away.