Being alone on birthdays and new years is new normal.

My own sister ditched me for house party at her friends place. Had solo trip to Gangtok and lachung for Christmas which made me feel like shit🤡🤡 maybe I just don't deserve company, surely it is the case. 23 years of being alive and nobody cares about me, not even family, got friends who never call me. I'm surprised I haven't become some science fiction villian yet. Being lonely with BPD is worst curse some can be born with .