"How do people process their reactions after being pressured into something they didn’t want?" Sexual coercion = Sexual Assault

I said No multiple times, but he kept pressuring me until I gave in out of fear. I just wanted to get through the night. When he sucked my breasts, I froze—I couldn’t move or react, especially since it triggered flashbacks from a past assault. Later, I fawned—hugging and kissing him, trying to find comfort, safety, and trust. I told him the next day that he forced me, and he admitted it but then said, "At least you should have stayed in control." I feel awful for fawning afterward, even though I know I was just trying to survive.. He admitted to forcing me but he denied full accountability. His friends make excuses for his behaviour as situational and he must have had different intentions they say for his behaviour. What intentions? No means No, he forced me, he admitted that he did not love me and he made false promises of marriage recklessly. How to not blame myself for fawning I tried my best to find comfort and safety in him, after freezing where I went absolutely Frozen, unable to move. ( Him repeatedly ignoring my NO caused me to relive flashbacks of my past SA, I had Flashbacks when he repeatedly ignored my NO). It hurts a lot, How to not blame myself ? Tagging Chennai, to create awareness and get support in return.