What If the Person You Marry Isn’t Who You Thought They Were? How Would You Handle It?

Marrying someone can be the happiest chapter of your life — but what if the person you marry isn’t the same after the vows are exchanged? Here are 10 things as per me, that you can do to shield yourself from some pain, if things don't go as planned: 1. Keep a Joint Account for Shared Expenses 💡 Transparency = Trust Create a joint account exclusively for shared expenses, where both partners contribute a fixed percentage of their income. Why? It avoids accusations of financial exploitation and ensures you’re both equally invested in managing household finances. Keep a separate account for personal savings to maintain autonomy over individual spending. 2. Say No To Dowry Especially Cash Transactions. ❌ Avoid the Trap Steer clear of accepting dowry or any form of cash gifts. Keep digital records of all marriage-related financial transactions. This not only protects you from future disputes but also promotes financial clarity from day one. 3. Gifts from In-Laws? Make Sure They're in Her Name. 🎁 Legal Ownership = Clear Boundaries If your in-laws want to give you a gift, request that it be transferred to your wife's name. Do not co-own any valuable gifts, and ensure they are kept in her personal account for clear legal ownership. 4. Separate Your Personal Assets from Family Assets. 💼 Set Boundaries for Financial Independence Keep your family’s money and investments separate from your personal finances. For any joint family investments, maintain a separate account to avoid entangling family wealth with your personal assets. 5. Avoid Joint Ownership of Property or Co-signing Loans 🏡 Preserve Your Assets If you’re buying property, don’t co-sign loans or enter into joint ownership, especially if you’ve put in the majority of the money. In many legal systems, even if you contributed 90% of the price, property might be considered jointly owned in case of a divorce or dispute. 6. Designate Family Members as Nominees for Your Assets 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Protect Your Legacy When designating nominees for assets, include family members alongside your wife. This ensures that your financial security isn’t solely reliant on your spouse’s legal rights. 7. Gifts Are Legally Not Yours – Be Mindful of What You Give. 💍 Treat Gifts as Final Before gifting valuable jewelry or assets, ask yourself: Could I live without this? In the event of a separation, gifts are legally considered the recipient’s property(Stridhan in India are gifts or assets and includes all the gifts she recieves before and during marrige and this means even your family jwellery will become her legal right.) 8. Invest in Non-Liquid Assets for Long-Term Security 📈 Protect Your Wealth Move your assets into non-liquid investments (real estate, stocks, bonds) rather than leaving them in easily accessible savings accounts. This strategy helps protect your wealth from being drained quickly, should financial disputes arise. 9. Document Domestic Issues – Keep Evidence for Your Protection 🎥 Proof is Power If you face domestic disputes or violence, document everything. Video and audio recordings can provide crucial evidence in legal matters. Don’t jump the gun too early and lay down your proofs as this would make the other party cautious reducing your chances to gather evidence; wait until you have substantial proof to support your case before sharing these records. 10. Seek Therapy – Don’t Wait Too Long 💔 Act Early to Save Your Marriage When problems arise, therapy can be an effective tool to work through issues early. Start couples counseling at the first signs of trouble. It’s better to try to fix things proactively than deal with the fallout later. Summary: Protect Your Finances and Future: Joint Account for household expenses Say No to Dowry and document all transactions Gifts in Her Name (Avoid co-ownership) Separate Family Assets from personal ones Avoid Joint Property Ownership and co-signing loans Gifts are hers, don’t expect them back Invest in non-liquid assets for future security Document Domestic Issues for legal protection Seek therapy early to save your marriage In Conclusion: While no one enters marriage thinking things will go south, life can throw curveballs. These financial precautions are your safety net if the unexpected happens. It’s not about assuming the worst, but being prepared for the unforeseen. With these steps, you can protect yourself and your future — whether your marriage thrives or takes an unexpected turn. Feel free to share your ideas or this post with anyone who might benefit