Navigating religion as an 18yo in india.

So 18(F) here, I’ve grown up in a mildly religious home (mother is more into it than father). i believed in religion when i was young but when i was 8 i was very scared of ghosts, i would always have trouble sleeping at night, so one day im talking to my father about it and he says ghosts aren’t real then i said if good exists then so does bad, so if god exists then probably ghosts exist as well.. then he looked at me and said who knows if god exists maybe it’s all symbolic. and that COMPLETELY changed my views on god and religion. after that ive had an atheism inclined ideology, but i perform all religious rituals as i genuinely enjoy those. It’s just that in my mind its hard for me to believe. specially when i see how blindly people believe in it, and how big of a sentiment it is in our country. i have a lot of respect and appreciation for every religion but i cant imagine how people centre their whole lives around it. now for a few years ive been struggling with my mental health due to certain events. I’m in therapy and it helps to some extent but im still struggling. whenever i talk to my mother her only reply is that i should start believing in god and engaging in religious activities more often. personally i dont think it will help with my issues but atp i want to give it a try cause i feel like religious ppl have a kind of peace in their life that i have never experienced. it feels kind of freeing to believe in a higher power that looks upon us. i wanted to know other people’s perspective on religion so it would mean a lot to me if you share your experiences.