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I feel like my husband hates me. Am I right in feeling this way?
I know I'm probably setting myself up for a heartbreak by asking this question. But I want to be sure I'm not overthinking this. I got married to my husband four months ago. It was an arranged marriage. I had no interest in getting married anytime soon but my parents were adamant that I will be happy with him and his family. I agreed after a lot of pressure. But I know that he wasn't forced in any way. The wedding took place within two months. I'm doing my masters currently and he's working abroad. The plan is for me to move abroad with him once my studies are over. Right from the beginning I felt something was very odd with our relationship. We never had a chance to speak with each other properly so that we could get to know one another (because of religious and cultural reasons) in the two month duration between fixing our wedding and the actual wedding. Yet he never asked me a single question about myself. We complete four months today and he's yet to ask a single thing. He was never ever interested in deep talks with me. Whenever I've asked him why we couldn't sit and talk to each other and get to know each other deeply, it has ended in a fight. He has stated a lot of reasons which I feel are just excuses. He was with me for a week before he had to go back to work. Forgive me for being blunt, but in that week, we never kissed each other romantically. But he did initiate sex, and I agreed. Kissing only happened between sexual intimacy, and it was easy to understand that he did it out of lust and not love. It hurt, but it was all so new to me, I told myself that I was overthinking about it all. Whenever I try to form any form of connection or friendship or a strong bond between us, I try to communicate with him about how I feel, what I need from him, and what I feel is lacking from our relationship, he gets defensive and angry and it ends up in us fighting. No matter how angry or rude or hurtful he's being, he always blames me in the end for everything. He says the most hurtful and offensive things and if I express even sadness about it, he gets so angry and it ends up in a fight. If I cry, he just tells me to sit and cry some more. Sometimes, when he talks to me, I feel like there's so much contempt in the way he says even the most mundane things to me. I get confused as to why. But if I ask, he's again angry for overthinking and giving him stress. But I know I'm not imagining things. Please help me out with this. Am I valid in feeling this way? Or is there anything I can do to make us work?5
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