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Feeling Lost: Should I End This Relationship?
We've been together for two years (25M and 23F) — one year living together and one year in a long-distance relationship, which is our current situation. When LDR started, she would always keep me updated whenever she went out with friends, letting me know what she was drinking or doing. But over the last three weeks, I've noticed a change. She no longer gives me those updates when she goes out. Two weeks ago, she mentioned she was going out with a new friend. I asked her to share her live location and the cab details for when she returned home, as she typically leaves bars/clubs around 1 AM. She did not do it. Last week, she told me her mom was visiting her from Delhi, so she wouldn’t be able to talk for a few days. This felt odd because her mom knows about me, and in the past, she’s spoken to me in front of her mom without any issues. Her mom has always been fine with us, I have talked to her mom as well, since she knows we’re serious. Over the last five days, our conversations have become scarce. Today, she told me she was going out with her mom for drinks. She even sent me a picture around 8 PM of her regular cocktail, but there was also a beer glass in the photo. I asked who was drinking beer, and she avoided the question. She does not drink beer neither does her mom. She avoid the question, saying her mom was drinking wine. Around an hour later, I asked if she was tipsy. She said no and mentioned how her mom was talking about "our" future and giving her advice about life. At 11 PM, I got a text from her mom: "Did X call you? Aaj baat hui?" I was shocked. I replied, "Mujhe laga woh aapke saath hai", to which her mom said, "Nahi." At this point, I started shaking with anxiety. I asked her mom, "Aap Mumbai mei nahi hai?" She replied, "Nahi." I realized something was off, I covered for her and told her mom, "Mai call karke dekhta hu, so gayi hogi," since her parents are strict and don’t allow her to go out after 7 PM. Her mom responded, "Haan, but woh roz call karti hai sone se pehle." I tried calling my girlfriend multiple times, and after many attempts, she finally picked up. I asked her to call her mom. I called again and asked where she was and who she is with. At first, she said she was with her mom, but when I confronted her with her mom’s texts, she changed her story and said she was with her sister. When I asked why she lied to me, she didn’t give a clear answer. Instead, she kept repeating, "What you’re doing is not fair." She has now stopped responding altogether. This isn’t the first time she’s lied to me. There have been several instances in the past, and these weren’t small lies either. Each time, I forgave her. But now, I’m at my breaking point. I’m shaking, and I feel like I already know what I need to do. Still, I want to ask: Is this kind of lying normal in relationships? How do I get the courage to walk away from my first long-term and LDR relationship?4
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