Anyone felt like they lost spark in their life ?

I feel like this is the lowest I've ever felt in my life. I feel like I have no identity in this world anymore. Like any random person you meet will say I'm doing XYZ job or I'm going college or I'm doing a business. And I genuinely feel so sorry that I have nothing going on because I'm choosing to isolate myself due to fear shame and anxiety. Even my birthday is next week but I feel no enthusiasm and all I wish is I hope it never comes like I just feel so lost and confused ever since age 22 now I'm like 27. It's crazy so many years have gone to waste. I literally miss my 20s, majority of kids once finished school has had 2 options only either get a job or to to college to secure the future. And I didn't do neither of those and isolated myself in the house. So many family members to relatives say what you do and I had lie so many times that yes I'm studying and working a job on the side. Even my family has said it's your sole duty to take on life responsibilities. One day we will get old and unable to support you. You have to be the one handling life responsibilities and taking care of siblings. If you continue sitting at home then siblings will follow your footsteps. My dad passed away several years ago and my mom is mentally tired and deeply ashamed that she is seeing her son not doing anything with his life. Anytime she hears someone child getting married or landed their dream job, I immediately start hearing harsh comparison. I wish I wish I was strong person that is capable smart and courageous to face life. But I hate living in constant fear and shame. Sighs I do want to go college. I do want to work and earn money.