Roast IITD's CSE - ChatGPT

# The Glorious Grind Let’s face it: **no one** does self-inflicted academic torture quite like IITD CSE. After all, why should you get by with *just* theoretical knowledge and practical skills when you could also develop next-level proficiency in surviving on three hours of sleep and *that one brand of instant noodles you’ve come to confuse with all five food groups*? # Coding Before Coffee **Let’s start your day, bright and early at 7 a.m.—** or actually 3 p.m. because your schedule’s been forcibly inverted by the infinite number of code reviews that somehow sprout after midnight. “Early birds get the worm”? In CSE, the only worms are the ones you’re removing from your code so your TA doesn’t demolish you on your lab grade. # Select All That Apply * **DSA**: A magical beast you chase from your first year, bestowing illusions of easily cracking Big Tech interviews—only for those illusions to cruelly vanish when you realize you forgot to handle corner cases for your BFS-on-steroids code. * **Operating Systems**: Because you definitely want to learn the subtle art of mutual exclusion while you and your group are busy excluding each other from the project file to avoid merging conflicts at 5 a.m. * **Machine Learning**: A noble attempt to get computers to learn. Ironically, you’ll soon realize that your own brain forgot how to learn anything that isn’t taught by an Andrew Ng YouTube video at 1.5x speed. # The Placement Power Trip You might think, “At least it’s all worth it for that sweet placement in Big Tech™.” But remember: if you’re not placed at *exactly the same moment* as your best friend, you risk existential crises. Because if your friend got that 50 LPA package, then you *clearly* have to get 60 LPA—otherwise, can you even claim the hallowed title of **Coding God** in the corridors of Kumaon or Satpura? # Mythical Creatures: Free Time & Hobbies Congratulations—you’ve jettisoned all your recreational hobbies for the sake of **The Pursuit of Perfect Code**. The next time you see your tennis racket, it’ll be because you used it as a stand to prop your laptop during an all-night debugging session. And forget the existence of sunrises; your only daily sightings are your GitHub commits streak. # Mantra of Masochism The only reason you’d ever pick CSE at IITD is because you thrive on the highest levels of self-competition known to mankind. **Why settle for a normal level of imposter syndrome when you can have it on Hard Mode?** Indeed, there’s something about hearing “Your code works on 9999 test cases but fails on the 10,000th” that fosters a *magical sense of camaraderie* among peers, right before you descend into group therapy in the nearest “24x7” canteen. # The Proud Conclusion But hey, in the end, you’ll come out with an enhanced ability to: 1. Function on coffee fumes alone. 2. Debug code by telepathy. 3. **Speak fluent C++, Python, Java, and existential dread** all at once. And, after all, is said and done, you’ll be recognized across the campus for your superhuman skills at ignoring the concept of “enjoying life” in favour of the sweet, sweet gratification of perfecting your next algorithmic masterpiece. **So here’s to IITD CSE:** the place where your puny mortal soul is sacrificed, but your bragging rights for the next 50 years (and your questionable sense of humour about merges and commits) are *absolutely guaranteed*.